There is so much on my heart and I want to share it with all of you… if you can relate, you are not alone. “ Sex, Jesus, and The Conversations The Church Forgot” by Mo Isom really brought everything I have gone through, good and bad, full circle. I hope this speaks to you in some way… ❤
I am a testimony of God’s grace and redemption. I have struggled with self-worth, time and time again. Looking for it in all the wrong places and people. I have given pieces of my heart away in so many unfortunate situations and to people who were undeserving. I have been at fault and so have others… but today and always, I pray for us both.
Almost 2 years ago I took a vow of celibacy, I decided to start a journey of finding my worth in Christ, and Christ alone. This has not been a topic I have talked about openly. Why!? It has taken me two, almost two whole years to figure out what this decision truly meant for my life and my relationship with God. For the longest time, I struggled with the thought of, “Can I really do this?” The answer is, well I am almost two years in and I have never felt so secure in God’s plan over my life.
“For me, the humble King who sat at my well offered me a love incomparable to what I had been chasing. When Jesus intersected the equation, He introduced immeasurable love and underserved mercy.” – Mo Isom
In all honesty, many may think…“Why would you choose to do this?” Of course, that is natural. I would NEVER push my decisions on anyone! Although, God met me at a time where my heart was shattered, my soul was lifeless, and my worth was lost. He delivered me from the darkest of places. How can I not choose to fixate my heart on a King who LOVES me so much? A King who stuck his hand out and said, “Daughter, you are enough and I am FOREVER with you!” A King who brought light back into my world. Now that, that is a love I wanted and choose to chase before anything else. That is a love sooo faithful!
“That kind of love compels something in us. It is a radical love that warrants a response. The fact that God, Himself, joyfully welcomes us back- that type of love is too great, too pure, too merciful an act. In my life, that love stopped me in my tracks.” – Mo Isom
My decision wasn’t easy but knowing where I was before and how far He has brought me, I wouldn’t choose any other way, but His way!
As Proverbs 4:23 says “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Guarding my heart and truly trusting in God’s unfailing love and plan has been HARD. Completely surrendering this part of my life over, didn’t come easy or overnight.
I have fallen time and time again, questioning all that is, but not once has He left my side while on this journey. I am forever grateful.
I could go on and on, sharing all that God’s has delivered me from and the grace He has poured over my life but, that is for another day. Slowly but surely, I would love to share more of my testimony when the time is right.
In the meantime, if any of this resonates with you… pick up Mo Isom’s book “Sex, Jesus, and The Conversations The Church Forgot”. It’s powerful, raw, and offered me healing in so many ways that I had yet to find before this book. I am so grateful for authors like her. This book found me in a season of questioning and uncertainty but it has offered me clarity and reassurance of God’s plan!
Also, you can simply reach out to me if you want to talk or if you have questions. If you have felt any of the feelings I have shared here with you today, you are not alone! ❤